You Were Lucky #2 Skit

Materials:
pitcher

Characters:
3 guys/girls

Directions:
Use same guy starting each round and same guy going second and third. This will set up the conclusion. Guys go in order (separated by semicolons).

NOTE: During the skit, someone will need to take a break and go behind us to get the pitcher of Chateau to establish the fact that it is there.

ROUND 1 - Family

1. 9 brothers and sisters; 20 brothers and sisters; 43 brothers and sisters
2. 2 room shack; cardboard box; hole in the ground
3. ate gruel & grits, snails, bugs; I dreamed of eating snails, no breakfast, bark; no breakfast & gruel; no breakfast, no lunch, no dinner
   

ROUND 2 - Education

1. parents required all A's; required 100 percent; required 125 percent
2. my mama "Lady Wrestler" weighed 346 lbs. and would whup me with a leather strap; daddy was a Marine drill Sargent was 6'9" and 2000 lbs. and he whup me with a stick; my ole man was one of Hell's Angels and he was 9'6" and weighted 5000 lbs. and he didn't whup me with straps, he used chains then tied me to the back of his motorcycle and drug me through town
   

ROUND 3 - Work

1. worked plowing fields, everybody else had tractors, I had a shovel; worked in a coal mine, didn't have no picks or shovels, I used a toothpick and got air through a tube; I cleaned out out-houses, all we used was hands and mouth, didn't get no air
2. many a day I worked 14 hours a day; worked 22 hours a day; worked 29 hours a day

At the end, the first guy gets fed up with the other two for topping him and jumps up and starts mouthing. The second guy is mad at the third and he starts mouthing. The third guy sits alone proudly stating that they were lucky. The other two, in the meantime, get their Chateau De Sauce and pour the water pitcher on the third.