The Brady Bunch Skit

Materials:
costumes, paper bag with steaks, black makeup for black eye

Characters:
Mike, Carol, Greg, Bobby, Peter, Cindy, Jan, Marsha, Alice, Tiger, Sam the Butcher, Table 1

Scene:
In the kitchen Table 1 is there.

Directions:
(Narrator reads and kids or leaders act out and repeat their lines.)

(Greg and Marsha walk in.)
Greg: "Marsha, you're a pig."
Marsha: "Well, so are you."

(Greg and Marsha say more insulting things... Then, they start hitting each other... Alice walks in.)
Alice: "Stop! Try to be good!"

(Marsha and Greg begin to hit Alice... Mike and Carol walk in.)
Mike: "You kids stop that fighting right now or we'll make you sleep in and not go to Campaigners this week."

(Kids immediately stop. They look penitent. Alice also.)
Carol: "Now, that's better! Why can't you kids behave more like _______ and _______, your Young Life leaders?"
Mike: "Well now Carol, even we aren't that good."

(Everyone shakes their heads and nods in agreement. Bobby and Cindy and Tiger come in (Tiger on all fours).)
Mike and Carol: "Hi kids!"
Bobby and Cindy: "Hello Mom and Dad."

(Tiger wags his tail, barks, licks Mike and Carol on their hands. Mike and Carol pat his head. Tiger goes under the table where he rolls out his tongue and pants loudly and happily. Sam the Butcher comes in with Peter and Jan. Jan holds her hand over her left eye.)
Sam: "Hi everyone."
Everyone: "Hi Sam!"
Sam: "Here's your steaks!" (Sam holds the steaks up.)
Alice: "Oh Sam, you're a fine man!" (Gives Sam a hug.)
Sam: "You're a fine woman." (Gives Alice a kiss.) "Say Alice, let's get married."
Alice: "OK!" (Everyone cheers.) "But maybe we should first ask the Young Life leaders to make sure it is a really good idea."
Bobby and Jan say: "Oh, good idea!"

(Everyone nods and murmurs in agreement. Suddenly, Tiger grabs a steak from Sam and hides under the table. Sam bellows and jumps onto the table and tries to reach Tiger. Tiger shoots out, runs around all the people with Sam in pursuit. Tiger runs to Jan and gives her the steak for the black eye she just happens to have.)
Jan: "Oh Tiger, you're wonderful!" (She hugs the dog and covers it with burning kisses. Tiger licks her face.)
Bobby: "Yes, you're the best dog there ever has been." (He hugs the dog and pats him on the head. Tiger licks Bobby's hand.)

(Mike puts his arm around Carol)
Mike: Because you're all so good, I'll take you all out to dinner and then we'll go to a Pistons playoff game and afterwards we will all go out for ice cream where I'll give you keys to new cars."
Carol: "Oh Mike, what a good idea! What good parents we are!"

(However, all the kids look glum and groan.)
Mike and Carol: "What's wrong?"
All kids: "But parent, there is Young Life tonight and we don't want to miss it!"